what comes around goes around

Ever heard about the circle of life ? I heard this story when in Windom, in English Class literature. We learned this story when we read about the native americans literature.

Anyway, the point that i want to say is. there is a circle of life. what goes around comes around. I notice that everything that happened in my life lately is the reflection of what i did to people in the past. This is a shock for me. yes you can call me a spoiled girl, but i'm not used in this situation. I used to be in the other side. Not in this side.

The things that happened lately, make me thing to act wisely, behave, and be patient. Ya know...... I dont really know how to react. Well I know what im doing next, tears ? yeaaaaa emo side is so on right now. :'(

Well what the hell. i might just have to keep thinking that i dont give a shit bout this thing. keep happy and enjoy your life. Screw this damn thing. Shut the hell up. Cheers

holiday

it's holiday already people ! oh yeaaaa and i can smell the freedom. from what ? heck yea freedom from studying so hard for merlin's sake. until your butt off i can make sure that one haha. just imagine remembering the whole freaking book, and i'm glad it is over. with some of decent grades :) i hope the rest of my grades that for god sake haven't come out yet will be somewhat a decent grades too....~well at least for this semester, isn't it great ? that you have a whole month, or 1 and a half month to keep your brain rested, with no thinking at all. but beware when college starts again, it might not working tho *sigh*

anyway, today is the third day of my holiday. and i already feel.....so.fuckin.damn.bored. for merlin's sake. for merlin's beard. holy cow i am so bored. i have nothing to do. i even finished the whole game from one of my wii's game. i did finished 3 books in this 3 days, the fact that i am reading 2 novels and finished it within this day. i watched some movies, but none of it really interested me. thinking of painting again like i did in windom w/ mr.nass in his painting class, but then i somehow found out that painting thingy is so damn expensive in here. it only cost me like 20 bucks last year in windom, and guess what ? i can spent like nearly 30 bucks. holy cow maaan, i'm not gonna spend that much money. i prefer spend it to buy some books. but again, i haven't like any of those books in the store right now.

boyfriend ? well it's not really an option. he is still busy with his college thingy until january. oh gawd. lame lame lame holiday. i still can meet him tho, for couple of days next week *finally, thank god. i dont have that hell lot of patience sorry to say :)* and the rest in the mid of january until he is done with his examsss. good luck dear :)

i guess i'm just gonna spend couple days in singapore starting from tmrw until monday. yes, as usual. my family made a very sudden plan. that involves me panicking. my dad is already there and the rest of us gonna go there to tmrw. plan ? ask for some money and spend it in borders, yuuuum. i can smell new books in here :3 why don't they have borders, or barnes and noble in indonesia for god sake. or can they ship it to jakarta ? cause really, i need the books that they sell.

get the point ? i am bored. i'm kinda freaking out actually, what the hell am i gonna do for the rest of the holiday ? well i'll try for one of the internal selection in january, wish me luck ! i do want to enter that one. just wish me a very big luck for that one. after that ? i don't know what am i gonna do. in some point, i'm thinking to taking the kumon assistant that bu ferry's offer. i am that desperate haha.

sorry for the swearing guys lol, can't help it anymore longer. it feels good to say it anyways :p no offense ! i'm still a good girl, no joking on that one haha. it just reminds me talking to some fellas, where they wont judge you if you're saying like that. and it is fun. and i miss them. a hell lot.

i wish you guys have a very great holiday. i wish i will have a great holiday. amen for that one.

fillers

I was kinda bored, and i found this and decide to do this simple questions :)

1.What is your current obsession?
Have a great GPA for this semester

2. What are you listening to?
B.O.B Airplanes, i kinda need a wish right now

3. What is your favorite food?
Shushi :3 currently i'm in love with Takor's kwetiau lol

4. What is your favorite smell?
My mom's smell

5. What are you wearing today?
Jeans, T-shirt, necklace, ring, watch, crocs

6. Why is today special?
Cause it's friday and i'll meet him tmrw :)

7.What would you like to learn to do?
Drive, dive, photography

8. What's the last thing you bought?
Stationary wohooo finally i have a decent pen

9. What is your most challenging goal right now?
Have a nice and decent grades :)

10. What's your must have this Summer?
holiday for sure

11. What would you like to have in hands right now?
New clothes, new books, more money, iphone ;p

12. What would you like to get rid of?
My sleepy head, Forgetfulness,

13. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Paris, France

14. What are your plans for the future?
Be a successful Lawyer, have a decent live, great husband and kids, and go around the world (amin)

15. Who do you want to meet right now?
My hostfamily, and Muhammad Dhira :D

16. Describe your personal style?
Depends on my mood, I can dress properly, or just a dress w/ a simple shorts and shirts

17. What are you going to do after this?
Laying around lazily, just kidding :p i gotta start studying, doing this never-ending assignments, and start reading the moot problem (-___-")

18. So, who will be the next tag goes?
anyone :D

5th thursday in november !

what does it means ? it means thanksgiving people ! woot wooot. god i miss my hostmom food. so bad. and the turkey, the amazing delicious turkey. and the pies !! omg pumpkin pies with a coolwhip above it. and the tadders, my hostdad mash potatoes was the best tadders ever. the corn, creamy corn. aaaa no wonder i became a pig after a year, i ate every single thing. seriously, i miss eating like crazy. it was a fattening day.

our small but delicious turkey :D

can you see the bowl of that delicious tadders ? wohooo

basically, thanksgiving is the day when you give thanks to Lord, for all the blessing. seriously o kinda forgot what is the history, you know....i don't listen to my hostmom talks that good or forget it easily hihi.

but anyway, i wanna praise the Lord, praise the God, for all the blessing that He gave for me. for giving my family health,for my family, a time to live until now, for everything, for the college, for giving me the antes' as my family, for my friends, giving me such a boyfriend like him, and everything God. thank you, thank you, and thank you !

ps. i miss the antes', i miss snow, i miss america. holy shit i feel like i wanna scream get me hell out from here, getting sick w/ jakarta. i need a break.

dearest natasha

dearest natasha,

so, here we are. you'll leave indonesia pretty soon, counting hours eh ? until you'll go to germany...... it is sad, but we know we'll meet again pretty soon right ?

so...i might not be the person that is close w/ ya haha. i know you like emm 2 years ago at nacel's pre-orientation. there we met, and all the dancing practice, orientation, chicago, minnesotan (even tho i never met you when we were there haha) and then all the things that we have been through together) but i know that i love you, nod 18 loves you, and we will miss you so damn much.

remember this ? lol

aaaand, it's finally the Day ! take care nats, be good there. stay virgin, say no to drugs, find a better guy than your mongolian or hungarian (can't remember it sorry haha) ex, well after all german guys were cuteeeeee arent they ? lol.

well anyway, take care okay. we love you and we certainly gonna miss you :) we're not saying good bye cause we know we are gonna meet you again. maybe farewell is a better word for today!

from us

with lots of love,

questioning the question

out of nowhere, somehow now I'm questioning myself. what is the purpose of world ? apa sih tujuan hidup di dunia ? is there any ? if you're saying that we are here in the world because well based in Islam, we are here because of our ancestor prophet adam and eve made a mistake. and for that now we are here in the world to do the good things until the end of the world.

so now let's play with the game called, what if ? what if prophet adam didn't do that mistake ? do we still exist in the world ? what are we doing right now ? what if Allah didn't decide to make humans, where are we right now ? what if the world ends right now, what are we gonna do ? what are we gonna do in after life ? are we gonna live in heaven like forever and ever ? how long is forever ? are we gonna be born again as a different person ? if the world ends, what will happens to the other planets lets say in our solar system ?

what if i was born in a different family, will i still be a moslem ? or will i still believe in what i believe right now ? what if i was an american, or african, or whatever, not an indonesian. will i still be the same ? will i have a different perspective ? what if.....i'm not a moslem. what will i do ? will i ? will i still believe ? how do you know which one is right and which one is wrong ? how do make a huge big difference from that ?

no offense, but what is the purpose of a religion ? don't get me wrong, i'm just asking. if we are saying that a religion is what makes you as a human right now. the base of life. but............. what's the purpose of 'godaan' dan 'cobaan' in life ? God do loves us right ? what's gonna happen to us after the afterlife ? how long is that gonna be ? what are we gonna do ? so heaven must be really big right ? imagine how many people that Our God has made ? how big is that ?

somehow, i'm questioning the question, i'm questioning myself. that it makes me not-that-strong with what i believe. i need an answer, but i know only You can answer my question. Dear God The Almighty, please take care of all of the people in the world. in every religion, in every human race, in all of the solar system, in every planet, where everyone pray for You the one and only, the Almighty. Amen.

:)

it is official :) i am enjoying the way it is right now, and yes....you make me smile. thank you for everything, and let's hope the best for us.

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

~bubbly colbie calliat

and, yes thank you :)